


It's Getting Lonely, It's Getting Hard to Breathe

by Majorbubs



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Panicking in gay, Rarepair, big bro tsuzuru bustin through, hey person on the discord server? This is bc of you, i love them okay?, is masumi ooc? yeah kinda, you know who you are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-24 19:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22003558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Majorbubs/pseuds/Majorbubs
Summary: He enters the lounge and reaches for the lightswitch. He flips it. Nothing happens. He groans. It looks like Sakyo turned off the power already. He makes his way over to the cupboards and pulls out a glass. He opens the tap, only for nothing to come out. Really? The old cheapskate turned off the water too? He turns off the faucet and sighs. Maybe he should just head back to his room.“Masumi?”Masumi tenses at the familiar voice.a.k.a Gay panic? in my kitchen at 1 am? the answer may surprise you.
Relationships: Sakuma Sakuya/Usui Masumi
Comments: 25
Kudos: 184





	It's Getting Lonely, It's Getting Hard to Breathe

Rain. it’s the only thing he can hear. The sound of raindrops hitting the roof is overpowering, muting out anything else he tries to focus on. He tries to increase the volume on his headphones as he sighs. It’s at max volume already, yet he can barely even make out the usually loud sounds of guitars and the heavy pounding of drums. It pisses him off, really. 

He tries laying back down in his bed, hoping that sleep will finally just take him already, but it never does. He looks over to his alarm clock and swears under his breath. It was fucking 1 am. Why couldn’t he sleep?

He groans as he sits back up, not really caring about how Tsuzuru slightly shifts in his bed. He climbs down from his bunk and makes his way towards the lounge. If his body doesn’t want to sleep, then why force it? 

He enters the lounge and reaches for the lightswitch. He flips it. Nothing happens. He groans. It looks like Sakyo turned off the power already. He makes his way over to the cupboards and pulls out a glass. He opens the tap, only for nothing to come out. Really? The old cheapskate turned off the water too? He turns off the faucet and sighs. Maybe he should just head back to his room.

“Masumi?”

Masumi tenses at the familiar voice. The two of them stand in silence, only the sound of rain filling the void. He feels his grip tighten around his glass. Why? Why does he feel so on edge? Fear? He quickly removes that thought from his head. No, he’s rarely even phased by this type of stuff, let alone afraid of it. Surprise? The rain masked the sound of his footsteps pretty well, but usually he doesn’t really care enough to be affected by that. Is he nervous…? Masumi furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Why the hell would he be nervous? It was just Sakuya. An odd feeling inside of him suddenly makes itself known as soon as he thinks that. Masumi gulps. The hell?

“Are you alright…?” Masumi’s head jolts up and meets Sakuya’s stare. Holy shit was he always that close to him? He would’ve noticed if he’d gotten closer to him. Why was he getting so flustered with this? He shakes his head as he tries to regain his composure. “I can’t sleep.”

He can barely make out Sakuya’s smile. “It’s the same for me.” he peers over to the sink and frowns slightly, hovering just around Masumi’s shoulder. “Sakyo-san turned the water off?” he lets out a small whimper of disappointment. Something about it makes Masumi feel...off. “I was getting thirsty too.” He looks up at him. “Do you want me to get us some water? I think i might have some bottles in my r-”

“No.” He flatly replies. The odd feeling inside of him is growing. He just wants this conversation to end. Sakuya’s smile falters a little. “A-Ah.” the shorter boy clears his throat. “W-Well, uh, how are you?” Masumi looks down, away from Sakuya’s stare. His prying, nosy, soul piercing stare. “Tired.” Sakuya blinks. “Oh, yeah… I should’ve figured that out, I’m sorry.” Something about Sakuya apologizing to him eats him up inside. It’s starting to give him a headache. What was wrong with him? He feels warm, he feels queasy, and he can barely even think straight. He sets down his glass and puts a hand to his head. 

Sakuya gives him a concerned look. “Are you sure you’re alright Masumi?” Masumi takes a peak at Sakuya from behind his hand. A brief flash of lightning illuminates the room, showing off the worried look of Sakuya in all of its glory. Masumi feels horrible just looking at him. He can’t stand seeing him like that. It’s like whenever he sees it, he wants to do everything in his power to make him stop. It’s… Annoying. At least that's the word he wants to use to describe it. It’s annoying how he’s been feeling off ever since he walked into the room. It’s annoying how much he looks after him. It’s annoying how much he cares. Sure, the director can make him feel a similar way but-

He pauses. No, no, no, no, no, no. His love for the director and whatever  _ this _ is? Completely different things. Totally nothing alike in any way. Sakuya? Sakuya was an annoying pest that was too nosy for his own good. He was too pushy, too loud, too caring. The director? Beautiful, stunning, kind, caring, smart, and a great chef too. Hell, she was the reason why he joined the company in the first place.

Right?

That last word of doubt hits him like a ton of bricks. She was the reason why… right? Masumi gulps. Yeah, yeah! She was! He can still remember the street act like it was yesterday. Matsukawa doing something he didn’t give a shit about, the director’s hammy acting, Sakuya… his mind starts to wander off. Sakuya trying perform his role to the best of his ability, the way his passion shone through his acting, the way he was basically the best out of all three of them even with the least experience-

Masumi furrows his brows in confusion. Why does he remember so much about Sakuya? He closes his eyes. Sakuya isn’t important. He needs to think about the director, he needs to think about Izumi. He loves Izumi. He fell in love with her the moment he first saw her, hammy acting and all. Even with her performance as Sakuya’s acting partner…? Coach…? Judge…? Why can’t he remember? If he was able to remember so much about  _ Sakuya _ on that day then how come he couldn’t remember much about the woman he loves? The one he wants to marry? He loves her, right? Unless he loves… Masumi shakes his head. No. He loves Izumi. He loves  _ her _ . He loves her and her alone. Nothing is going to change that. 

Sakuya’s frown deepens. He slowly raises his arm. “Masumi hold still, let me check your temperature.” He barely brushes his hand across Masumi’s neck when he immediately jumps away from him. Sakuya looks at him in shock. He avoids all eye contact with him and scowls towards the floor. “Y-You need to leave.” his voice barely above a whisper. Sakuya tries to step closer to him. “Masumi i’m-”

“Leave.” Masumi sharply turns his head to look at him with a glare. Another strike of lighting crashes outside, shining onto Masumi’s face, highlighting his anger and desperation in all of its glory. Sakuya’s too focused on that to notice the faint pink tinge on the younger teen’s cheeks. 

Sakuya backs away, a look of regret etched on to his face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I-I’ll go.” He turns around and quickly leaves, leaving Masumi alone in the kitchen. Masumi takes a deep breath and slumps down to the floor. He pulls his knees closer to him and sighs.

Did he love the director? He knows that he likes to see her laugh and smile. He knows that he feels all nice inside whenever he compliments her, or flirts with her, or even when he runs errands and does something nice for her...but… the more and more he does it… the less and less better about it he feels. He feels like he needs to be doing more. That he needs to do it more often, or do something stronger to keep what he’s feeling alive, But is that really love, or is that just pointless obsession?

He knows it’s weird to keep pictures of her underneath his bed, he knows that she gets uncomfortable when he flirts with her, he knows that always begging for her attention and getting jealous at everyone else who’s doing a better job than him isn’t the best thing to do… so why did he keep doing it? Was he trying to… prove something? If that’s so, then what was he trying to prove? 

He buries his head deeper into his knees. What is he thinking? He has nothing he needs to prove. He loves the director, He loves Izumi, he loves her. He knows that. Nothing is going to change that. He shouldn’t need to convince himself with this. He grips his head. He isn’t convincing himself of anything! He doesn’t need to. He’s fine. He doesn’t have a problem. He’s not avoiding anything about himself. He loves her. He loves  _ women- _

He pauses. Why did that matter? Why does him being straight have to do with anything? He’s straight. He likes women. Sure he finds the ones who follow him around really annoying, and he doesn’t care enough about anyone else to be bothered wasting his breath on them, but that doesn’t mean he’s not like that! He shrinks in on himself. He’s fine. He’s normal. He’s straight. He’s not like that. He swears to god he’s not like that. 

He feels his heart sink as a deep pit of dread opens up in his stomach. Why does he feel so sick just thinking about that? He shakily stands up and leans against the sink. He tries to open the tap to try and splash some water on his face, before remembering that the water’s been shut off. “Damn it!”

he looks across the dark, empty room. It’s so quiet. He hates it. The rain is barely drowning out his own thoughts. He shouldn’t think about this anymore. He doesn’t want to think about this anymore.

He places his headphones over his ears. The songs are basically garbled nonsense compared to the strength of the rain, but he doesn’t care. He just needs more white noise to block out everything, anything that’s going on inside his head. If he just keeps avoiding it, if he just keeps running away, it’ll stop. It has to. He needs it to.

He opens the door to his dorm room and climbs up to his bed. He pulled the blankets over his head and places a pillow on top of that for good measure. He squeezes his eyes shut as the song fades out, quickly being replaced by a song made by the same band. He can barely hear the rain anymore. He tries to let the sound of rock lull him to sleep but it doesn’t work. He can’t sleep. It’s like something is physically preventing him to. 

He curls up into a ball as the song fades out. He waits for the familiar sound of drums to blast out of his headphones. He waits, and waits, and waits. The rain outside slowly settles to a drizzle, the drops barely even making a sound against the roof. He continues waiting as the pit of dread in his stomach grows larger. He lays on his bed in silence. The rain outside has all but stopped, and the music’s come to an end. He hates it.

He pulls out his phone to try to move to the next song manually. He presses the power button. Nothing happens. His heart stops. He presses and holds the button, hoping, praying that it just accidentally turned itself off. His fears become realized when the all too familiar battery icon flashes on screen. He curses under his breath. He peeks out from the covers of his bed. He looks around his part of the room, looking for the comforting sight of his white power cord.He can’t see it. He pales. Where the hell did he last leave it? It couldn’t just disappear on him like that, not when he needed it the most. He racks his brain on where he could’ve left it. He thinks back to when he last used it a few days ago.

\-------

_ He was in the lounge, on the sofa. He was seated at the far end of the couch, his phone plugged into an old socket in the wall. He remembers staring down at his textbook. Izumi had chided him earlier that day about finishing his homework, where he replied with whatever flirt he could think of on the fly. He feels the shift of the cushion next to him as a textbook, a year higher than his, lands on the table. He shoots a glare towards the person sitting next to him before he pauses. _

_ “Hey! Masumi! Do you mind if I sit here?” Masumi’s glare softens slightly as he side-eyes Sakuya’s grin. He rolls his eyes before he looks back to his book. “I don’t care.” He scribbles down a few answers. “Don’t bother me.” _

_ He glances back to Sakuya, who still has the same bright smile he had when he approached him in the first place. Masumi frowns as something inside of him wanted to scold him for being rude of all things. He watches as the red-head meets his gaze and mutters a small thank you before turning to his book, his smile fading slightly at the sight of it. _

_ Masumi turns back to his textbook and writes down a few more answers. He occasionally sneaks a few glances in Sakuya’s direction, watching the teen furrow his brow in confusion before he writes something down. He can’t help but feel slightly entertained watching him go. The confused look on his face that quickly melts into one of realization as he quickly scrawls something down just makes him want to root for him. It’s… kind of cute, actually. He nearly smiles before he catches himself. _

_ He quickly averts his eyes. He shouldn’t be thinking about this kind of stuff. Guys don’t think other guys are cute. No matter how cute the actual guy really is. He looks down at his textbook and tries to make sense of the questions. He furrows his brow. He can barely focus. Why? Why did he think Sakuya of all people was cute? He’s not cute. The director is cute. Sakuya? No, he’s just like a nosy, over-excitable dog. He’s annoying, not cute. Guys aren’t cute. He should know that by now.  _

_...But guys can be handsome...right? Masumi feels a warmth travel up to his face. He quickly places his book down and plugs in his headphones, cranking the volume up to max. He lets the sound of metal drown out the sounds of his own thoughts before they get too out of control. He pretends not to notice Sakuya looking at him in concern as he writes down something frantically in his book. _

_ He focuses on his textbook, quickly writing down answers he’s at least 50 percent sure are correct as he blocks out any other thoughts relating to the person right next to him. As soon as he answers the last question he nearly slams the book closed. He ignores Sakuya’s worried glances.  _

_ He quickly unplugs his charger and stuffs his phone in his pocket. He sees Sakuya’s lips moving, but he blocks out everything he’s saying. It’s not worth my time, he tells himself. He’s about to leave for his room when he sees Izumi walk out of the kitchen with a pot in hand. He quickly offers to help her. He can barely make out her saying something about how he doesn’t need to help her with that, but he quickly responds with a half-assed flirt that sounded kind of creepy now that he’s thinking about it. He ignores the uncomfortable look on the director’s face as he continues to help her set the table. _

_ He leaves the table as soon as he can and holes up in his room for the rest of the night, listening to his music for the rest of the evening. He never goes back for his charger. _

_ \------ _

Masumi lets out a sigh as he rolls over, away from the door. He can’t stand how quiet it is. It reminds him of home. It’s too much like home. He can’t take it. It feels like he’s slowly being crushed by the non-existent weight of the silence. He feels like he wants to scream. He feels like he’s the only person in the area for miles. He feels alone again.

He feels something warm rolling down his cheek as his eyes widen in realization. No. no, no, no, no! He can’t do this. Not here, not now. He shouldn’t be crying like this. He can’t be crying like this. He hastily wipes away the growing number of tears blurring his vision. He feels his throat hitch as he bites his lip. He’s not going to let anyone hear him like this. He can’t let them.

His heart stops when he hears Tsuzuru shift in the bed across from him. He holds his breath, his eyes focused on the large lump under the covers. He wants to run. He wants to just leave the room, the dorms, and be pathetic where nobody could find him,

but…

He glances back over to the door and frowns. What if someone saw him go? What if Sakuya saw him go? Masumi tightens his grip around his pillow as he scowls. He can already imagine the confused look on the teen’s face when he sees him about to take a step outside. He can see how his expression shifts to one of confusion to one of great concern and worry when he’ll see the stupid streaks the goddamn tears left on his face. He can see him getting annoyingly nosy about what happened. He can see him wanting to care about him. He sees himself and Sakuya sitting on the couch as he leans into the older teen’s shoulder, talking about everything that’s wrong about himself. Talking about how stupidly lonely he is, how he’s afraid of going back to an empty house again. He can imagine Sakuya looking at him in sadness before pulling him into a hug. He can imagine him talking about how he has the same fears as him, how he doesn’t want to be rejected, to be abandoned again. He imagines himself wrapping his arms around Sakuya, returning one of his hugs for the very first time. He imagines Sakuya hold him tighter as he leans into his shoulder, his head just near his ear. 

_ “...Don’t go… please… I’m here for you… I’ll stay with you.”  _

__ Masumi chokes back a sob about to escape from his throat. He feels a heat rise up to his cheeks as he holds his pillow thighter. He can imagine himself looking back up at him with a hesitant look on his face. He can see Sakuya break away from the hug as he gently moves his head to face him.

_ “ We’re both afraid of being alone… aren’t we?” _

He feels his heartbeat quicken.

_ “What if… we could make sure neither of us will be alone like that ever again? Even if the company somehow disbands… what if we could stay... together?” _

He feels like he’s burning up. His face is on fire. His stomach is tying itself up in knots. He feels incredibly ill as the same weird, warm, comforting feeling floods his chest. He imagines him gently grabbing both of his hands. Sakuya gives him a warm, tender smile as he looks directly at him.

_ “What if we became partners? Like… partner-partners… Like…” _

Masumi feels his mouth move on its own, vocalizing his thoughts. “Boyfriends.”

He catches himself before he could smile. He hurriedly sits up in his bed with a frightened look on his face. What the fuck did he just say? He shouldn’t want that. He  _ can’t _ want that. He was in love with the director right? He wanted to marry her someday right? He can’t just keep imagining this stuff like that. He shouldn’t even be thinking about that kinda stuff. He’s straight. A hundred percent straight. He’s not like that. He’s not into dudes. He’s not gay. He can’t be gay. 

He runs his fingers through his hair as he starts to hyperventilate. Then why? Why did it feel so right? Why did he want Sakuya to talk to him like that? Why did he want himself and Sakuya to start dating? Why did he want Sakuya to love him back? He shakes his head, trying to get rid of everything he’s thinking about like some sort of demented etch-a-sketch. He rubs the sides of his head, feeling a strong headache about to strike. 

What the fuck?! What does he mean “love him back?!” You can’t love someone back if they don’t even have feelings for you dumbass! He did not have feelings for him so naturally that means Sakuya  _ can’t _ love him back because he doesn’t have a crush on him in the first place!

He was in love with Izumi Tachibana. The director of the Mankai company. The woman with an odd obsession for curry. The woman who wanted to make the company bloom once more like it did when her father ran it. The woman who gave a shit about him even though he’s been the equivalent to an annoying gum wrapper with a cheesy pick-up line printed on it stuck to the bottom of her shoe. He wanted her to notice him. He started acting because of Matsukawa, Sakuya, and  _ her _ street act. He practiced making curry in the middle of the night to try and impress her. He wants to help her wherever he can. Hell, even when he thought she wanted him to die back when the spring troupe first started it turns out she was just trying to look out for him regarding his acting. He loved her!

...But she doesn’t really care about that part does she? Masumi grips the sides of his head, a massive spike of pain floods his mind. He knows that Izumi appreciates everything he does. He knows that she wants him to succeed. He knows that she cares about him, but he also knows that she’ll never feel the same way. No matter how hard he tries to change that… no matter how much he wants to change that for whatever reason he even has anymore. He knows that she’ll always see him as a friend, as a little brother, as a son, even.

He brings his knees up to his chest as his mind wanders back to that night where everything fell apart, whether he wants it to or not. He thinks back to when he sat alone on the couch, nearly about to cry the ever-loving piss outta himself when he feels the seat shift next to him. A warm and gentle hand rested at his back as a sign of comfort. He can still remember the worried look on the troupe leader’s face when he first looked up at him from the dark safety of hiding in his knees. He remembers back when Sakuya even helped him make up with her so she could explain herself. He can remember when the two of them trained until early in the morning trying to perfect their sword fighting scene in Romeo and Julius. He can still remember the huge smile the teen had on his face like it was yesterday. he hates that it makes him feel warm inside.

He feels like his head’s going to split into two. He needs everything to stop. It’s too much. He wants to drown it out before it ends up drowning him. It’s like someone’s driving a stake into his head with a hammer, each strike causing a wave of pain to overtake him. He grits his teeth as he holds his pillow in his lap, his knuckles starting to turn white. He wants it all to end, to stop. He wants to stop thinking about this. He wants to stop thinking. He feels like everything is slowly suffocating him. He feels trapped. He needs to make a noise, anything to drown it out. He raises his pillow in the air and harshly throws it to the ground with a yell that slowly develops into a sob.

“DAMN IT!!” He ignores the sound of something breaking under him as he feels the tears come in in full force. He buries his face in his knees as he tries to hold back his sobs. He ignores the large lump on the bed across from him suddenly rise up with a jolt as he quickly takes the covers off of himself to look around with a panicked look in his eyes. He quickly calms down when he sees the pillow on the floor. He lets out a small sigh. “Oh thank god it was just a pillow. Are you alright Masum-”

He looks up from the floor and pauses as soon as he sees Masumi’s curled up form. He looks at him in worry as he tries to get a little closer. Tsuzuru tries to switch his tone to a calmer, more comforting tone. “Is everything alright, Masumi?” 

Masumi glares at him from between his legs. Tsuzuru can barely make out the fresh tears rolling down the teen’s face. His brotherly instincts urge him to try and find out what made him upset. Tsuzuru frowns.

“...Are you okay Masumi?” Masumi doesn’t move. He can still barely make out the soft glare he’s sending straight into his soul. The two of them sit in an uneasy silence before Masumi shifts, averting his gaze away from the playwright. He lets out a shaky sigh.

“No.” His voice wavers slightly at the end of the short response. Tsuzuru steps down from his bed and sits next to him. “Do you mind if I sit here?” Masumi moves himself away from him while letting out a weak “I don’t care.” as he glances at him. Tsuzuru scoots a little bit closer to the teen, looking at him in concern. “Do you want to talk about it…?” 

Masumi doesn’t respond. He wipes away a few more tears before taking a deep breath to try and calm himself. He lifts his head up ever so slightly, looking at his roommate with a confused yet slightly scared look on his face. Tsuzuru’s never seen Masumi this shaken up before. 

Masumi gulps. “I-I don’t know…” He lifts his head and looks directly at him with a frightened look on his face. “I don’t know if I even can.” His voice breaks a few times trying to force the sentence out. He hates how stupid it makes him look.

Tsuzuru looks at him in understanding. He gently places his hand on his shoulder. “I guess I understand where you’re coming from. ...I have a few things about myself that I don’t know how to explain to all of you guys either.” Masumi looks at him in confusion as he continues. “ Just know that whatever you’re going through right now, we’re all here for you.” Masumi glances towards the door.

“...How do you know?” Tsuzuru looks down. “Well… I don’t, really, but I do know that all of us in the spring troupe are. Trust me on that.” Masumi bites his lip as he continues to stare at the door. Tsuzuru follows his gaze. “Do you want to step out?”

“No!” Masumi jolts up as he scoots closer to the wall out of impulse. Tsuzuru looks at him in slight shock. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Masumi calms down and looks at his roommate with a large frown on his face. “ I’m scared Tsuzuru.” He runs his fingers through his hair as Tsuzuru watches him in concern. “I-I’m scared… and c-confused and I-” He bites his lip as he tries to stop anymore tears from rolling down his cheeks. 

“Something’s wrong with me.” He looks at him with a desperate expression. “Something’s so fucking wrong with me and everything I’ve been doing to try and fix it just makes things worse-” He lets out a sob before trying to compose himself. “I can’t. I just- I just want it all to stop. I want to stop thinking about this. I want to stop _feeling_ these things about **him** _of all people_ and-” He grips his head as he nearly breaks down. Tsuzuru looks at him in sadness as he rubs his back. He reaches for a small pack of tissues by the window and hands a few to the younger actor. He hesitantly accepts a few. 

“Just let it all out, okay? It sounds like you’ve been bottling this up for awhile.” Masumi lets out a shaky sigh as he leans back on to the wall. He takes a few deep breaths and tries to get the tear streaks off of his cheeks. “I’m sick, aren’t I?” Tsuzuru looks at him in concern. “...What do you mean by ‘sick’ if you don’t mind me asking?” Masumi balls up the tissue he had in his hand. “...I shouldn’t feel this way. I can’t feel this way. It’s… wrong. I should be in love with the director. I need to be in love with her.” Tsuzuru looks at him in sadness. “Masumi…”

“I look stupid right now don’t I?” He puts a hand to his face and lets out a pained laugh. “Why… Why can’t I just be fucking normal for once?” His voice breaks as he tries to finish the last sentence. He lets out a sigh before looking back up at Tsuzuru with a pleading look in his eyes. “I’m so fucking confused, Tsuzuru. I don’t know what to do.” Tsuzuru pulls the teen into a soft hug. Masumi doesn’t react. 

“Masumi. You are normal.” He looks at the man in confusion. “It’s okay to like guys, you know. You aren’t alone in feeling that way… trust me.” Masumi leans on Tsuzuru’s shoulder as he glances at the door. “...It is…?” Tsuzuru nods as he breaks away from the hug. “When you first realize it, it can seem pretty frightening, but once you accept that it’s a part of you, that it isn’t ‘wrong’ or ‘immoral’... it takes a large weight off of your shoulders.” Masumi stays silent. “ Liking people with the same gender as you doesn’t make you sick, Masumi.” Masumi glances up at the playwright, making out the almost… melancholy look on Tsuzuru’s face. “Lying to yourself, trying to be something your not, trying to force yourself to fit in in a place that would want you dead… it’s hard and it’s painful. It makes you feel like you’re lying to everyone, even to yourself.” Masumi watches as he absentmindedly places his hand to his chest. “That feeling... that’s what makes a person sick.” He frowns before letting out a long sigh. He looks back over to Masumi with a bittersweet smile. “It’s okay to be gay, or bi or whatever you’re feeling like right now. Just… don’t reject how you feel.”

Masumi looks back at the door with a wistful frown on his face. “But… how will everyone else react? That after all the times I’ve tried to flirt with the director, that after all the times I’ve gotten mad at them after they just look at her, How will they react when they find out I’m like this? That I was treating all of them like crap to try and justify my shitty facade for who knows how long?” He plays with the tissue in his hand. “I don’t think I can apologize for that.”

Tsuzuru sighs. “To be honest with you? I don’t know how all of them will react, but I do know that most of them will accept you.” Masumi continues looking at the door. “Even so, what if they don’t forgive me? I’ve been an ass to all of you, especially to the spring troupe, especially to...” He trails off as he clenches his fist around the balled up tissue. Tsuzuru looks at him in concern.

“...Did something happen with Sakuya…?” Masumi freezes up as Tsuzuru winces slightly. Shit, he didn’t mean to hit a nerve. “You don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Masumi lets out a long sigh as he shakes his head. 

“...I saw him in the lounge earlier and I froze up.” He tosses the wad of tissue in the general direction of the trashcan. “He saw me in the kitchen trying to get water and he leaned in really close to my shoulder.” He gulps as he tries to continue. “I-I didn’t know w-why but I could feel my heart racing the closer he got. ...I-It scared me.” He takes a deep breath to try and steady his voice. “I felt like e-everything was on f-fire, I-I felt like I was going to vomit and h-he must’ve noticed because h-he asked if I w-was okay and then he tried to check my temperature.” He places a hand to his neck. “H-His hand barely even touched me but everything i-inside of me was telling me to get away, to r-run.” He can feel a faint blush on his cheeks. “I nearly jumped to get away from him and then I snapped. I basically yelled at him to leave.”

He lets out a sigh. “I didn’t know what was happening. What I was feeling scared the shit out of me.” He looks away from the door. “I don’t know how I’d act if I’d see him again. I can’t after what happened.” He looks up to the ceiling. “I know that he’d just forgive me but... “ He pulls his knees to his chest. “I know things won’t be the same after what I’ve realized.” He leans his head onto his knees. “After I realized that I...  _ love _ him.”

Tsuzuru rubs the teen’s back. “Things are going to be different, I’m not going to lie to you there. Things may change for the worse, sure, but they can change for the better too.” Masumi looks at him in silence. “...I have no idea how he’s going to react or how things are going to turn out, but once you’re absolutely ready, letting your feelings out can be… almost freeing.” Masumi lets out a small mumble of something Tsuzuru can barely make out.

“...Did you say something…?” Masumi lets out a small groan. “I said thank you.” Tsuzuru smiles. “It’s no problem, Masumi. You’re always welcome to talk to me about this stuff okay?” The teen rolls his eyes as he makes his way back under the covers. “...Whatever.” Tsuzuru gets off his bed and back into his own. “It was nice seeing you so open for once.” Masumi grunts. “Don’t expect to see it again.” Tsuzuru sighs. “Goodnight, Masumi.” 

“...’night.” 

For some reason, Masumi feels like he can finally rest.

\-------

Sakuya didn’t know what went wrong. Was it something he said? Was it something he did? He flops back on his bed, the now empty water bottle sitting next to a full one. Did he push it when he asked to check his temperature? Was he really not feeling too well? Maybe he was just imagining the flushed look on his face. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

He looks out the window near his bed as he sighs. He always thinks he sees Masumi flush a lot. At first it wasn’t that often, but the more time they spent together, he’d notice how he’d always sneak a few glances at him when he thought nobody was looking at them. He’d always notice a small tinge of pink that dusted his cheeks whenever he had to wake him up. A small part of him kinda wishes that it was because of him, but he knows that’s far from what Masumi’s thinking. Masumi loved the director. Masumi said on more than multiple accounts how much he wanted to marry her, how he loved her so much that it hurt.

Sakuya hugs his pillow with a bittersweet smile on his face. He knows how that feels, at least. He doesn’t know when he first started falling for the raven (blonde? Was he blonde or was it just dyed?) haired teen, but it only really hit him in full force ever since he offered to help him out with the fight scene in Romeo and Julius. He pulls his pillow closer as he reminisces. 

\------

_ “Move your foot.” _

_ “Huh?”  _

_ Sakuya feels Masumi push his foot sightly back with the tip of his sword. “Keep it there. It’ll help you control your balance when you step back after my swing.” He raises his sword. “Ready? From the top.” _

_ Sakuya nods as he raises his blade. “Swing.” He swings his sword at Masumi’s command, who blocks it. “Swing.” He moves a step back and tries to aim for his knees. The younger teen quickly stops it. “Block.” He raises his sword just in time to prevent a slash from the other weapon. He moves his foot back ever so slightly like Masumi showed him as he steps backwards from the force of the blow.  _

_ “Retaliate.” Sakuya pushes against Masumi’s blade, forcing him to move it aside. He moves forward in a stabbing motion. Masumi backsteps away as he regains his stance. “Disarm.” He takes advantage of Sakuya’s prone form and knocks his sword out of his hands. He takes his sword and points it at the shorter teen’s throat. He gently raises the blade up, tilting Sakuya’s head to face him. He smiles. “And tilt.” _

_ Sakuya gulps as he looks directly into Masumi’s eyes. He can feel his heart beating inside his chest as his stomach ties itself in knots. The early morning light filtering in from the window next to them frames Masumi’s face in an elegant way. His dark purple eyes shine with a cool sense of pride as his mouth is curled into a rare smile Sakuya loves to see. The light bounces off of his costume, accentuating all of the loving care Yuki put into making it. Sakuya feels a slight blush come up onto his face. It was like something out of a fairytale. He looked stunning. _

_ “You did better this time.” Sakuya blinks, Masumi’s voice snapping him out of his daze. He beams at him. “I did?!” Masumi lowers his sword. “Yeah. It’s much better than when we first started today. ...Good job.” Sakuya feels his heart skip a beat. Did Masumi, of all people, complement him? He feels his face get warmer. Masumi’s eyes widen in realization as he turns away, a frown on his face quickly forming. “But that doesn’t mean you’ve perfected it. We still need to keep practicing before the show starts-” _

_ Masumi feels a large weight run into him. Sakuya wraps his arms around the taller actor and gives him a warm smile. He buries his head in the crook of his neck. “Thank you, Masumi! Thank you so much! I don’t think I could’ve done this without you!” He looks back up at him, a large, soft smile taking up most of his face. He sees Masumi’s shocked look melt into one of content. He can barely notice a small smile on the actor’s face. “Whatever, I guess…” _

_ Sakuya could’ve sworn he saw a slight blush on his face. _

\------

Sakuya sighs into his pillow. That was the first time he ever saw him blush at someone who wasn’t the director. Hell, that was the first time he’s ever seen him  _ smile _ at someone that wasn’t the director. It felt… nice. Like it was something that was only for him and no one else could have it. It made him feel special. It made him feel loved. He felt bad that a little part of him wanted to see him do that more.

Sakuya looks out the window with a gloomy expression. He knows that will never happen, of course. He knows how head over heels in love Masumi is with Izumi, and he doesn’t want to ruin that. He knew that it made him happy, and he wanted him to be happy. Even if it means that he’ll just bottle up his affection for him forever.

He wonders if Masumi’s still mad at him. Just even thinking about what happened makes a pit of dread open up in the bottom of his stomach. He must’ve been too nosy. He already knows he hates it when he tries to look out for him. He’s trying to stop doing it, he really is, but he can’t help but worry about him.

Sakuya just wants whatever happened between them tonight to just fade away, to be forgotten. He wants his friendship (could they even call it that?) with him to remain unchanged. He hopes that he didn’t cross a line. He wishes that he didn’t cross the line. 

He rolls over, facing the door. Things… Things should be the same when morning comes, right? It would be like nothing happened, right? Masumi isn’t really the type to dwell on this type of stuff, but... He closes his eyes. He can’t help but feel that something’s changed between them.

\-----

Sakuya turns off his alarm with a small groan. He sits up and rubs his head. He must’ve been awake longer than he thought last night if he was this exhausted. He slowly makes his way down the ladder of his bed and grabs his uniform, careful not to wake Citron. Then again, last night was hell for his mind. For his heart, if he had to be specific. He slips on a pair of slippers and leaves.

He finds himself in front of room 102. It’s fine, right? He does this every morning. He just needs to walk in there, lightly shake Masumi awake and tell him the time, wait until he got up, and they both finish their respective morning routines. It’s just that simple! Sakuya raises his arm to knock on the door, but he hesitates. So how come he was feeling all weird about this?

Before he can react, the door opens. Sakuya looks up in slight surprise at the boy. “Masumi?” The actor freezes up at the mention of his name. Sakuya looks away. Did he accidentally set his alarm an hour late? Masumi’s never been up this early before, and he’s even wearing his uniform too… how long has he been awake? Did… did he wake up this early to try to avoid him? Sakuya feels a pit of dread open up as soon as he thinks that. It couldn’t be that… right? Masumi didn’t hold grudges unless it had something to do with Izumi! He wouldn’t stay mad at him for this long, right?

“G-Good morning…” Masumi’s voice shakes Sakuya out of his downward spiral. He looks back up at him, noticing he’s avoiding all eye contact with him, just avoiding looking at him in general, really. He bites his lip. Something was wrong. Masumi doesn’t stammer out a polite greeting like that. Masumi doesn’t shy away from anything like this. Something must’ve happened last night. He gulps. Maybe he really did cross something.

He clears his throat as he tries to smile at the taller teen. “It’s nice to see you up this early!” He flinches slightly at the sound of his own voice. Has it always been that high pitched? It was loud and even lacking the usual energy he has. He rubs his throat as a brief flash of an unfamiliar look crosses Masumi’s face. “Yeah, I guess.”

Sakuya grips his hanger a little too tightly “Great! I’m glad to see you!” Another unfamiliar look crosses the raven’s face. Sakuya thinks he can see a little bit of panic in his eyes as he glances at him. “...What?” 

“Up! I’m glad to see you up!” He gives him an uncomfortably big smile, coming off as a slightly pained grin. He swears he can see a slightly disappointed look on appear on Masumi’s face before he goes back to the all too familiar poker face that Sakuya’s used to seeing. “...Just don’t expect this everyday.” He gently moves Sakuya out of the door frame before he steps through. “Don’t start slacking off just because I woke up a little early.” He starts to walk away, but Sakuya could’ve sworn he said something under his breath, something like… “I still need you.”

Sakuya watches as he walks away with a small frown on his face. He shakes his head. What was he thinking? Masumi wouldn’t say that. At least not about him, anyway. He needs to get over himself. He needs to get over this stupid crush he knows will never be requited but…

The unfamiliar looks that crossed his face, The fact that he said “good morning” to him instead of just brushing him aside in the first place. The fact that he just let him talk to him despite him not having anything important to say… he hates how it makes him giddy. He places a hand over his heart as he makes his way to the bathroom. He can feel his heart nearly beating out of his ribcage. He really hopes he doesn’t have a blush on his cheeks. 

He smiles bitterly. Guess he really does know how it feels to love someone so much that it hurts.

\-----

Sakuya steps out from the lounge and into the small entrance way. The storm from last night is all but gone, leaving only a few clouds overhead. He steps down onto the wet grass with a frown. Maybe he should ask some advice from someone who might know something about this, but who would he ask? Taichi? The only tips he has with love are for women, same with Kazunari. Maybe Tasuku or Tsumugi? Yeah they have experience with this type of stuff but they’ve only really been with each other for most of their love lives. 

Sakuya hums to himself, lost in his own thoughts. He barely hears the sound of footsteps coming towards him. He feels something warm grip his shoulder as he gets shoved back into reality. “Hey.” He freezes up at the sound of Masumi’s voice. 

“...Let’s walk together.” Sakuya can hear his heart pounding in his ears. Masumi can’t be saying this, right? This… This has to be some sort of joke to get back at him from last night, it  _ has _ to be. This isn’t like him. He feels Masumi’s grip soften. “...Sakuya?” Holy shit, how did he get so close? He feels his blood rush up to his cheeks. His mouth feels dry, his stomach is tying itself up in knots. What the hell is happening to Masumi? Does he know that he had a crush on him? Is he doing this to get back at how he felt last night? Or is he trying to... 

Sakuya glups. No, he can’t be doing that, if he did that then that implies he felt the same way about him. That would be stupid. He tightens his grip on his bag. Masumi does not love him. He  _ needs _ to get that through to his heart. He needs to stop feeling like this about him. It’ll just make him uncomfortable at best about him, and at worse, he’d… He doesn’t want to think about that.

He feels something warm run down his cheek. He… He was crying about this, wasn’t he? He uses his free hand to wipe away any tears before Masumi could see them. Right in front of him too. How stupid. He feels Masumi’s hand move off of his shoulder. He hates that he’s starting to miss it being there.

“I’m sorry.” Sakuya blinks. Did Masumi just… apologize? He turns around to face him, noticing that he’s doing everything in his power to not even look at him. “Huh?” the taller teen lets out a sigh. “...I’m sorry for snapping at you last night. You didn’t deserve that.” he looks at him in surprise as he continues. “You don’t deserve me treating you like shit, either.” Sakuya stares at the taller teen in disbelief. This… this can’t be real. It has to be some sort of dream. It has to be. 

Masumi runs a hand through his hair. “...You don’t deserve anyone treating you like shit.” Sakuya feels his heart ache as he says that. He sees him bite his lip. He looks like he wants to say something… but he’s stopping himself. A small moment of silence passes in between the two of them before Masumi’s able to continue the conversation.

“You don’t need to forgive me. I really understand if you don’t but…” He lets out a sigh. “I just needed to get that off my chest.” He shakes his head. “...Maybe now things can go back to how they used to b-” He looks up at his face and freezes. Sakuya sees an unfamiliar emotion cross Masumi’s face. He forces himself to smile.

“What’s wrong, Masumi?” His voice, it sounds strained, like something’s choking him. He watches as the teen’s expression softens. It looks… familiar somehow. It feels like he should know when Masumi’s made that look before but he can’t seem to figure out where from. It’s like trying to remember a dream. 

“You… You’re crying.” There was a certain tone to his voice that Sakuya can’t identify. Was he confused? Concerned? Worried? The fact that Masumi might be worried about him makes his stomach tie up in knots. He looks away from his gaze. He can’t bring himself to look at him anymore. He needs to stop thinking about this. It’s going to drive him insane. 

He sees him start to reach out to him out of the corner of his eye, but he falters. It’s like he’s holding himself back. He quickly glances at his face. Even though the actor might be looking away, he can still see a conflicted look show itself across his features. Sakuya looks up at him and gives him a small, bittersweet smile.

“Did Izumi tell you to apologize?” Masumi snaps his head back up at him. He continues trying to smile at him. “It’s okay, You don’t have to keep pretending anymore.” He closes his eyes as he continues to flash a pained smile at him. Warm tears run down his face as he tries to keep up his happy expression. 

Masumi looks at him with a pained expression. No, no, no, no, no! It’s not like that. He isn’t doing this just to get the director to praise him. He knows that now! He didn’t mean to cause this. He didn’t want to see him like this. He just wanted to make things right, but now… Maybe it would’ve been better if he didn’t do anything.

He looks down. No, he wanted to do this. He did this all out of his own free will. He did this because he’s finally ready to accept his feelings. He did this because he cares about him. He did this because he wanted to make it up to him. Why was it so hard to tell him that? What was stopping him from doing that?

He looks around the small street right outside the dorms. No one’s around. He clenches his fists. It’s now or never, right? He takes a deep breath and runs into Sakuya, enveloping him in a hug. Sakuya feels his heart stop the moment Masumi’s body slams into him. He stumbles back upon impact, but remains standing. He looks at him in shock as he feels him wrap his arms around him tighter.

“Stop. You don’t get it.” Sakuya lets himself frown. He lets himself lean onto his shoulder. “ I’m...I’m not doing this for her. I’m doing this because I want to.” Sakuya lets himself hug Masumi back as he continues. “I’m not pretending. I’m not pretending to be someone I’m not. Not anymore, at least.” Sakuya starts to bury himself in between his shoulder and his neck. He can feel how warm they both are. Both of their pulses are racing. Sakuya clings on to the back of Masumi’s blazer.

“I…I care about you damn it.” He feels Masumi lift his head up from his shoulder and wipes away a few of his tears with his thumb. He has an anguished expression on his face as he looks at him in worry. It looks… raw, if Sakuya had to describe it. It’s like he’s finally broken down all of the walls Masumi placed between himself and the rest of the world. It feels… kinda nice, being here with him like this. “And I hate to see you like this.”

Sakuya feels him start to pull away his hand from his face. He gently raises his hand and places it on top of his. He’s a hundred percent sure this time that Masumi’s blushing. He gives him a soft, genuine smile. “Masumi...I…” 

“I love you.”

Sakuya’s eyes widen when he realizes what he just said. Masumi stares at him in mild shock. He quickly takes his hand off of Masumi’s and steps a few feet away from him. Masumi blinks as he stands frozen in place. “...You… love me?” 

Sakuya looks away as he tries fix his sweater vest. “I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have said anything.” He grips the strap of his bag. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Masumi.” His eyes widen. …he knows where he’s heard this before, and if he’s right about what he’s going to say next then-

“I’ll go.” 

He’s not going to make this mistake again.

“Wait!” He reaches out to him and grabs his arm before he gets too far. Sakuya looks at him in confusion. He looks him in the eye. There’s a glint of nervousness in them, maybe even a little bit of fear or excitement. He’s never seen him so… vulnerable before. It reminds him that despite how he may act sometimes, he still was just a year younger than him.

“Sakuya, I!-” He loosens his grip on his arm and sighs. He speaks out, in a tone just barely above a whisper. “I L-love you too.”

Sakuya feels his heart nearly stop as soon as he opens his mouth. He wants to believe it. He really does, but… there’s so many things going against it. It all just seems too good to be true. He looks at him with hesitation in his eyes. “I… I thought you loved the director…” Masumi looks down.

“Well… I did, for a while.” He bites his lip. “But then I had to keep doing more and more to keep what I was feeling for her alive and… I’m not very proud of what that made me.” He lets go of Sakuya’s arm, half-expecting him to run away, but he doesn’t. He stays. “I’m still trying to figure everything out but… I think they started fading… because of you.” 

Sakuya frowns slightly “Because...of me?” Masumi nods. “...Do you remember when you found me crying on the couch back when the spring troupe first formed?” Sakuya nods. “The way you tried to comfort me, the way you gathered the rest of the troupe to help you… I think… that’s when I fell, and I fell hard.” He looks back up at the redhead with a small blush forming on his face “I… I didn’t realize it at first, but when I started to feel… warm around you I wanted it all to stop. ...It scared me.” His hand absentmindedly drifts to the collar of his uniform, his white headphones oddly absent from his neck. “So that’s what I tried to do. I tried to run away from it. I tried to drown it out, but that only made things worse.”

“So with what happened between us last night and me freaking out about how you barely touched my neck, I was feeling everything I’ve bottled up since then, and I’m sorry for snapping at you like that.” Sakuya gives him an apprehensive look as he rubs his arm, right where Masumi grabbed him. 

“...So what’s with the change of heart…?” He lets out a small sigh. “Tsuzuru saw me freaking out and helped me talk through some things. It wasn’t a hundred percent perfect but… It helped me realize a few things about myself… even helped me accept some of it too.” 

“...He did?” Masumi nods as Sakuya lets out a small, slightly bittersweet chuckle “I wish I knew that a few months ago.” He looks back at the taller teen and smiles slightly. He gives him a hopeful look. “...so this isn’t some sort of trick?” Masumi shakes his head. “No, it isn’t. I’m telling you, Sakuya, from the bottom of my heart that I want to protect you. I care about you. I  _ love  _ you.” 

Sakuya breaks out into one of the biggest grins Masumi’s ever seen in his life. He pulls the teen into a strong hug. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.” Masumi smiles as he returns the hug. “It better.” He breaks the hug and looks at him head on. “I was always so afraid on how’d you react if I ever told you. I could barely sleep at night anymore. It was honestly one of the reasons I even encountered you last night.”

He presses his forehead against Masumi’s. “So this just makes me… really happy.” Masumi gives him a soft smile. “...yeah. Me too.” The two of them stay like that for a while, staring into each other’s eyes with soft smiles on their faces. Sakuya breaks eye contact and glances away. “Hey… can I ask you a question?”

“...Yeah?”

Sakuya gulps. “...Do you mind if I, uh, kiss you…?” Masumi looks at him in slight surprise as he flushes deeper than his hair. He smiles. “...go for it.” Sakuya takes a deep breath. “...Thank you.” He gently pulls Masumi’s face closer to him. He slowly lessens the gap between the two of them until he can feel Masumi’s breath bounce off his lips. “Are you ready…?” He lets out a small hum in agreement. “...Okay”

He pulls the taller teen closer to him, closing the little space left between them. Neither of them are the best at kissing, but Masumi just has a little more experience than his red-headed counterpart. Sakuya almost overwhelmingly smells like cherries. So much so that it isn’t even funny anymore. However, despite how much Masumi wants to just pull away because of the strong sweet scent, he feels himself get oddly drawn by it. The kiss is short and a little clumsy, but it leaves both of them with large smiles on their faces. (despite how much Masumi’s embarrassed by his.)

Sakuya looks up at him and realizes something. “Wait, Masumi, where’s your headphones?” He watches him drift his hand up to his neck with an odd expression on his face. “I left them back at the dorms.” Sakuya gulps. “Then we need to go back and get them!” He looks down at his watch. “I think we still have a little bit of time before school starts. I can run back to the dorms and-”

“Nah.” Sakuya looks at him in confusion. “Huh?” Masumi shakes his head. “I don’t think I’m going to need them.” He pulls out his phone. “Besides, my phone’s dead anyway.” the shorter actor nods in understanding. He unzips his bag. “Well, if your phone’s dead, I think I might have a spare charger-” Masumi places a hand on his shoulder. “No, it’s alright. You don’t need to do this.”

“But-” He places a finger to Sakuya’s lips. “Shut up.” He lets out a sigh of defeat as he closes his bag. “Are you sure you’re going to be fine? ...I’ve never seen you separated from them unless you’re practicing.” Masumi nods as he places his hands in his pockets. “I’ll be okay. Besides, I still have some thinking I need to do.”

Sakuya looks at him in slight concern. He opens his mouth to say something, but he gets cut off by his watch beeping. “Shit! We need to go!” Masumi looks down to his phone, before remembering that its out of battery. “What time is it?” Sakuya glances down at his watch. “Five minutes until they close the school gate.” Masumi swears under his breath. “We need to start running.” He grabs on to Sakuya’s arm. “Hey wait!-”

The two of them take off in the direction of Hanasaki. Masumi's nearly dragging along Sakuya before he eventually matches his pace. They arrive at the gate just before it closes. Sakuya leans against a wall to try and catch his breath as Masumi does something similar. Masumi looks at him and gives him a small smile.

“...are you okay?” He nods, still in the middle of recovering. “...Yeah, just… Just trying to catch my breath…” The bell rings. Sakuya looks up at the building. “Don’t wait up... for me… go… or you’ll be late…” Masumi doesn’t move. He looks at him in confusion as he takes his hand off of the wall.

“... I’m not just going to leave you here.” Sakuya smiles. “Thank you... Masumi.” He smooths out a few wrinkles in his sweater vest as he walks up to his boyfriend…? (I mean he’s pretty sure they’re dating now so-) “Are you fine with walking to our classes together?” He lets out a hum of agreement.

They wander the empty corridors in a comfortable silence. Normally, Masumi would’ve put his headphones on by now but… He glances over to Sakuya. Something about Sakuya being next to him… It makes the quiet just a little more bearable. 

“It’s the same for you, you know.” Masumi gives him a confused look. “What you said about not leaving me alone. I’m not going to do that to you either.” He looks at him in slight surprise. “You lived mostly alone for most of your life, right?” He gets a slightly sad look on his face. “...Yeah, why?”

“...It’s basically the same thing for me too.” He looks down at the floor. “You already know I have a pretty bad relationship with my current guardians, right?” Masumi nods. “Well, they don’t really care about me that much. They just made sure I didn’t die while I was in their care, but anything else? They just kinda let it happen.” He sighs. “They never really talked to me. They just didn’t really want to, I guess. That just made me feel… alone. It was like no one would ever be there for me. Like I didn’t really matter to anyone.”

Masumi reaches down to hold his hand and gives him a reassuring squeeze. Sakuya gives him one back. “I want to make sure nobody feels the same way I did back then… I want to make sure you don’t feel like that.” He looks up and smiles at him. “I’m always going to be there for you, Masumi.” Masumi gives him a warm smile as he squeezes his hand again. “...Thank you.”

They eventually stop outside of Masumi’s classroom. He seems reluctant to let go of his hand. Sakuya looks up at the actor with a hopeful smile. “...See you after class?” Masumi nods. “...See you.” He lets go of his hand and turns toward the classroom. He feels Sakuya place his hand on his shoulder. “Hey, wait, there’s still one more thing I need to do.”

He places something in the taller student’s hand. He looks down in slight confusion. “Your watch?” He nods. “Whenever you’re feeling alone or sad or afraid just look down at this.” He fastens the watch around Masumi’s wrist. “That way, you know that every time you look at it, you know that I’m still here for you… and I’ll be there for you, even when I’m not physically present.”

Masumi’s speechless. He looks down at the dark pink watch and smiles. He pulls him into a hug. Sakuya lets out a small laugh as he hugs back. “... I love you, Sakuya.” He smiles. “I love you too.”

\------

Izumi knows something’s up. She glances back to Masumi and Sakuya sitting on the sofa. They’re both chatting about something that she can’t make out. A few textbooks litter the table along with Masumi’s phone plugged into the wall. 

Masumi and Sakuya has been hanging out more and more lately. Not that she has a problem with that. She’s glad that Masumi’s been being more social to someone other than her. He needed better connections with everyone, but... he hasn’t tried to flirt with her for the past few days.

Normally, she’d be greatly relieved by this, but with what happened with him during ‘Alex in Wonderland… She bites her lip. He didn’t borrow another relationship magazine from Taichi again did he? Because if he did then that means he’s trying to prove something to her again, and she doesn’t want the poor boy to try and change himself like that. “Izumi? The food’s starting to burn.”

Tsuzuru’s voice snaps her back into reality. “Ah, right! Sorry, sorry!” Tsuzuru gives her an odd look as she quickly takes the pan off of the stove. he follows her glances into the living room. He smiles. “Are you worrying about Masumi?” Izumi sighs. “Yeah. He’s been acting a lot different lately. I’m just worried he’s doing what he did back during the 2nd show.”

“...Pretending to be something he’s not?” Izumi nods. Tsuzuru smiles. “...Well, I think that you don’t need to worry about that.” Izumi gives him a confused look. “What do you mean?” He hands her a few of the chopped up potatoes he’s been cutting and dusts a few of the peels off of his pants. He looks over to the two boys sitting on the couch. “... It might be just me, but doesn’t he look a lot more… open with Sakuya?” Izumi takes a closer look at the two of them. “...Yeah, I guess you’re right. He seems a lot less… on guard? Is that the right word for it?” 

Tsuzuru shrugs. They both watch in slight surprise as Masumi tries to hold back a laugh at something Sakuya said. “I dunno, but he seems like he’s gotten pretty close to Sakuya lately, no?” Izumi gives him a concerned look. “yeah...but what does that have to do with anything?” Masumi spots him staring at him and flushes. He quickly goes back to trying to talk with Sakuya with a small, embarrassed look on his face. Izumi looks at the two of them in confusion.

“Do you know anything about what happened between them?” He shrugs. “ Even if I did, I don’t think that’s my place to say. You should probably ask him yourself… If you haven’t figured it out already” She looks at him in slight confusion. Figure out what? Is there something she’s missing? She looks back over to the sofa. Masumi and Sakuya seemed to have gotten a little closer to each other. She squints. It almost looks like they were both… blushing? 

Sakuya reaches over to hold Masumi’s hand, and he surprisingly, complies. She looks over at their conjoined hands and realizes something. A familiar looking dark pink watch makes itself known when a small alarm goes off on it. Masumi fumbles with the watch as Sakuya can’t help but let out a small laugh. He turns off the alarm as Masumi lets out what appears to be a thank you. He messes with the collar of his jacket before he goes back to his textbook, Sakuya doing the same shortly after. 

Izumi’s eyes widen. Masumi’s stopped wearing his headphones. She watches as he messes with the watch on his wrist before he shoots a quick glance at Sakuya with a small smile on his face. Izumi knows that look like the back of her hand.

She smiles as she goes back to helping Tsuzuru with dinner. 

It looks like Masumi’s finally found something to motivate him aside from her.

**Author's Note:**

> and with that my first a3! fic is done! This was originally supposed to be posted a few weeks ago but I kept making revision after revision until I ended up with something double the original length lmao. I'd love to hear what you guys thought of the fic!


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